ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
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