Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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