How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize