Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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