I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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