I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
