forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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