She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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