Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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