Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
