just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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