so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
