A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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