Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
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I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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