even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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