: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
