so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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