You're so nebulous sometimes
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
