I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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