3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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