You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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