Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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