Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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