Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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