bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
