seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Let's get the cat blown out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
