my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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