i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I love having hate sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
