That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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