Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize