it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she peed on how many people?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
