I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
