yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize