i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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