Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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