the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
