jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize