I should be sponsored by Trojan
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
