I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize