Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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