She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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