Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
MIDGETS
????
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
