What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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