Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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