How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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