He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
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I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
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Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize