I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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