3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
