Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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