I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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