There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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