Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
