she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
