Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
