That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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