Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize