I can text with my tongue
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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