we're blogging at a bar
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
