i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
